V.L. Gregory (Pohlenz) - Contact made at:westerndreams@www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com
Musin's 'Neath the Mesquite Tree

#FridayFictioneer, Jornada Del Muerto

 
   Animals were well watered; every container filled when they passed Points of Rocks and entered Jornada del Muerto--the journey of death.
   The dried spring, littered with bits of broken bones, yielded no relief for the travelers' parched lips. Death came in many disguises: disease, Indians, and lack of water.
   Jubal pressed the caravan on, watching for marauding Apaches. Past bleached skeletons and treacherous quicksand, the wagons lumbered on El Camino Real.
   Arriving at Paraje--90 miles and three days later--the men whooped and shouted; ladies cried and hugged their children. They had survived the Journey of the dead. 574 had not.
 

54 Comments to #FridayFictioneer, Jornada Del Muerto:

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Sandra Crook on Friday, February 24, 2012 9:10 AM
Nice one, capturing the essence of the wild west in a few words. http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/afterwards/
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:03 PM
Thanks for your visit and your comments. I've commented on your page--in fact, I'm about half way through the list. Goodness, I love this writing exercise--looks like it's gaining momentum, too. Thanks, again, for stopping by.


Judee on Friday, February 24, 2012 10:21 AM
Surviving a journy like that was no small feat back then. The last line tells the true tale of the sacrifice made. Well written.
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:05 PM
Judee, Thanks for your visit and your comments. I see I'm headed your direction in about 5 more reads. Lots of writers taking advantage of this exercise--I love reading all the posts.


K Hughes on Friday, February 24, 2012 10:48 AM
If only we knew how many of our ansetors came through that and the scars left by the losses, Many a woman gave birth out there and lost the little ones because of the lack of water, it was a tough time and they were tougher yet. Nicely done. K
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:07 PM
Kim, Thanks soooooo much for "popping in"--I appreciate your visit and your comments. You and I certainly share a love for these Western tales. :-)


Jen Pendergast on Friday, February 24, 2012 10:50 AM
Well-depicted and frighteningly real. You have paid a tribute here, as well as telling a story. Nice job. Mine is here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/friday-fiction-14/
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:10 PM
Jen, I appreciate your visit and your comments. I believe yours was the last comment I made before fixing lunch for my husband. Will have to get back to the list later this pm. Again, thanks for taking the time to "drop in."


Janet on Friday, February 24, 2012 11:20 AM
Reminded me of the Donner Party. Eerie. Here's mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/02/24/forgotten/
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:11 PM
Janet, Thanks for dropping in and commenting. I'll be heading over to your post after lunch.


Gary on Friday, February 24, 2012 11:50 AM
It's quite a harrowing tale, this. Yes, they survived the gruelling journey, but at what cost? Such a large number didn't make it. It does leave me thinking. Very well done.
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V.L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:13 PM
Gary, We are most fortunate that our ancestors were a hearty lot. Thanks for stopping in to comment--I appreciate it.


Craig on Friday, February 24, 2012 11:59 AM
I like the western style here, but found the jump from the entry of the journey of death to the dried spring a bit abrupt. Two lines before they were well-watered. But still, good atmosphere and payoff at the end.
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:16 PM
Craig, Thanks for your comments--100 words is quite a challenge, isn't it? I'm enjoying the exercise, though and hope to get better with it. I enjoy your posts about owl and raccoon--have you ever read Avi or Brian Jacques? Your stories are very reminiscent of their style.


ron pruitt on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:37 PM
This reads like an actual historical account and made me think you based this on actual events. Whether you did or not, it's a great job of creating an authentic tone. This is the second week you've worked in other languages, making me wonder if you're some kind of multi-lingual genius or something. The great American West is always an appealing setting to me. Here's mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:02 PM
Ron, Thank you for the kind words. My story WAS a historical event but, no, I'm NOT bilingual. My friends say I'm an incurable, frustrated librarian. :-) It's not because I'm a librarian but, rather, because I love research (esp. if it's concerning the 1800's). I think I shoulda been a cowpuncher! I enjoy your posts and your comments on others stories--that's how I learn.


CC on Friday, February 24, 2012 1:56 PM
A very realistic look into the past. Very nice. http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/bare-bones
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:15 PM
C.C. Thanks for dropping in--I appreciated your visit and comments.


susie lindau on Friday, February 24, 2012 2:34 PM
I love this! It pulled me right into the scene. You should expand on it and write a book. I think I will go get a glass of water now....
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:09 PM
Susie, Thanks for the kind words. I have a book "Saddlesores and Prairie Biscuits" in submission and I'm working on another entitled "Pistol Packin' Pencil Pushers." BTW--I wrote Jornada del Muerto with a bottle of ice cold tea right beside me. ;-)


Emma on Friday, February 24, 2012 2:49 PM
Thank you for commenting on my post and hope you drop by again. I really enjoyed this and providing a historical context was a good way to approach the exercise. In my piece I tried to convey how Arctic animals struggle to survive in a changing landscaping and yours describes how humans also migrate and battle nature with a great cost.
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:12 PM
Emma, I enjoyed your post, too. Hopefully--through our writing--we will leave a legacy behind that will preserve this memories and lifestyles. Thanks for visiting and sharing your comments. I appreciate it.


T.E. on Friday, February 24, 2012 3:39 PM
I am so glad I live now, life back then was so hard.
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:07 PM
T.E., Thanks for dropping in. I'm glad that I live in this generation, also. I'm content to enjoy the fruits of my ancestors' labors. :-)


Jeannie on Friday, February 24, 2012 4:39 PM
Awesome! Just like from an old west story! You did good :)
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V.L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 6:42 PM
Jeannie, Thanks for your visit and your comments. I appreciated them.


susan on Friday, February 24, 2012 5:40 PM
I like the concept of this story. You seem to be onto something. DO you have plans to make this a longer piece? ~Susan
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V.L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 6:47 PM
Susan, Thank you for your kind comments. I'm planning to use this for a segment in a book--eventually. I've been thinking that I might write 20 or 25 of these 100-word stories and call it "1000 words: Snapshots of the Old West." Just a thought. :-) Right now I'm working on a YA historical fiction--"Pistol Packin' Pencil Pushers." (Artists and journalists of the Old West)


Quill Shiv on Friday, February 24, 2012 6:41 PM
What an amazing tale. Things like this were all too true. Great job. My drabble can be found here: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/let-flow-what-is-left/
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V. L. Gregory on Friday, February 24, 2012 6:49 PM
Quill Shiv, Thanks for visiting and commenting. Yes, it is true--fact, many times, is stranger and more exciting than fiction.


Jake Kale on Friday, February 24, 2012 7:28 PM
Sounds like the journey was aptly named. You certainly weave a compelling tale here, it really brings home the stark realities those early settlers faced. Though judging from my sojourn to Wikipedia the region is no less inhospitable now!
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 12:23 AM
Jake, Thanks for your visit and your comments--I appreciate them. The railroads helped to settle and tame areas of the Jornada but--you're right--to this day, it is sparsely settled and wild.


Steven E.A. on Friday, February 24, 2012 8:51 PM
This had a very Cormac McCarthy feel to it. And I love me some Cormac McCarthy.
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 12:25 AM
Steven, Thank you for your comments and stopping in for a visit. I appreciate it.


Madison Woods on Friday, February 24, 2012 8:53 PM
Hi V.L., I'm glad you are enjoying these exercises. I'm always looking forward to our Friday sprees. You did a good job with the bones. The last sentence packs a lot of punch!
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V.L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 12:28 AM
Madison, I find myself eager for the next prompt immediately upon finishing the current one. And--I'm always amazed at the different turns each writers mind takes. Thanks for the kind words--I appreciate them.


Douglas MacIlroy on Friday, February 24, 2012 11:56 PM
Dear V.L., A nice tribute to humankind's ability to endure hardship if the goal on the other side is worth the cost. Well done. Aloha, Doug
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V.L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 12:30 AM
Doug, Thanks for your visit and comments. I appreciate them.


Lora on Saturday, February 25, 2012 1:32 AM
Reads like an actual historical event. God bless those hearty early settlers. To think, they had no idea what was at the end of the journey, yet they pressed on..no matter what the cost. It reminded me of my European grandparents who suffered long months on the frightening ocean in those human, packed cattle boats. Nice job. Continue on. Here's mine: www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 11:37 AM
Lora, Thank you for your visit and comments. I cannot imagine traveling across an ocean to start a new life--we owe soooooo much to those who traveled these paths before us. We're definitely a "spoiled" generation. :-)


Charles Williams on Saturday, February 25, 2012 8:21 AM
This story reminds me of the conquistadors and their strategic dispossession of the Amerindians. But, i couldn't but wonder if the indians were avenging their dead by being among 'many disguises of death.' Here is a link to mine: http://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/moriah/
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 11:41 AM
Charles, Thanks for visiting--appreciated your comments. You were right about the Indians mostly raiding in retaliation. In the early days of Western migration, most Native Americans were helpful. After the military/government shafted them over and over, they began to take revenge on ALL whites. Who could blame them?


carlos on Saturday, February 25, 2012 8:27 AM
A well-told story. I think I'd change "Death came in many disguises" to "guises" – that's how I read it and only later realised it wasn't what was on the page. Have you ever heard "Song of 1000 Toads" by the Handsome Family?
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 11:44 AM
Carlos, Thank you for your visit and your comments. I have not ever heard "Song of 1000 Toads" but I will make a point to seek it out--appreciate you telling me about it.


Robin Hawke on Saturday, February 25, 2012 9:57 AM
Love the bit about past bleaching especially, Robin
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V. L. Gregory on Saturday, February 25, 2012 11:46 AM
Robin, Thanks for stopping by and lending your comment. It is appreciated.


The Lime on Sunday, February 26, 2012 1:55 PM
V.L., this is great. The epic journey is right here, told so quickly and yet managing to include the important details -- especially the 547 in the last line. It's good, it's really good. Thanks for sharing!
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V.L. Gregory on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:48 PM
The Lime, Thanks for the enthusiastic, kind words--they are greatly appreciated.


Andy Flood on Monday, February 27, 2012 4:34 PM
This is both very well written and educational. In immersing me in that time period and by giving me the opportunity, however brief, to walk in their shoes, you have made me think that I should learn more about this part of American history. If only more subject matter were presented in this way; maybe then people might become more engaged and more interested in learning. Thanks for sharing your talent for a story :-)
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V. L. Gregory on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:52 PM
Andy, Thank you for your comments. I love history, especially the 1800's. Like you, I would love to see history presented in such a way that it would "grab" people's attention. Fact truly is more fascinating than fiction.


Barbara Bettis on Monday, February 27, 2012 5:18 PM
What a super entry, VL. You did such a great job with the writing, the photos, everything. Congrats.
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V. L. Gregory on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:53 PM
Barb, Thanks for your visit and comment. Love your input.


Shirley McCann on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:03 PM
Great imagery, Ginny. I could visualize the scene.
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V.L. Gregory on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 9:29 PM
Thanks, Shirley--These 100-word exercises are fun AND very helpful in learning to "write tight."

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